Archive for the ‘The Beautiful South’ Category

“We have a piper down. I repeat – a piper is down!”

January 31, 2009

Well, not exactly a piper, but a drum major…

As further proof that everyone gets their fifteen minutes, John Coleman has popped up in headlines the last few days. Coleman has left the pipe and drum regiment of which he was a member because he waved to Barack Obama during the inaugural parade.

So, yeah, I suppose he violated the esprit de corps and broke ranks with his fellow pipers and drummers, but it’s an understandable, spontaneous lapse in decorum. It’s not like he molested a collie.

The article I read made me feel like this incident has left Coleman a broken man (“burned bridges” and “hurt feelings” are mentioned). Sure, it’s probably a bummer as he’s been with the band for 17 years and I suppose finding a pipe and drum band to join is probably in needle/haystack territory.

However, in the long run, I think he’s coming out ahead.

Thirty years from now, he’s retired and living in some condo enclave (though, he’s not entirely relaxed) in Florida (unless, due to a rise in the oceans, South Georgia is on the coast three decades from now).

Coleman will be the toast of the compound, though. He can regal them with embellished tales.

“Yeah, I was a drummer in a band…”

The women will swoon, their eyes glazing over (except for the ones who might once have dated a drummer), having spent decades married to bankers, plumbers, doctors, and others engaged in more mundane professions.

The men – most of who will have once aspired to be in a band – will take a jab to their egos (except for the ones who might once have had a drummer crash on their couch for more than a year).

The tale will conclude – each and every time – with him recounting getting kicked out of the band, how it was politically motivated by a controversial incident involving him and Barack Obama during his band’s gig on the day Obama was sworn in.

The chicks are going to dig John. I have no doubt.

He might even be able to put the band back together.

Todd Rundgren – Bang On The Drum All Day
Pound for pound, few artists over the past forty years have made as much wonderful music that has been as relatively ignored as Todd Rundgren. Sadly, Bang The Drum All Day, is probably one of his better-known songs as it seemed every radio station would play this song on Fridays.

The Beautiful South – You Play Glockenspiel, I’ll Play Drums
I can’t say I’m overly familiar with The Beautiful South (despite owning several albums), but what I have heard is consistently wonderful.

Peter Gabriel – A Different Drum
Peter Gabriel’s music for the movie The Last Temptation Of Christ is powerful stuff, drawing on Middle Eastern instrumentation. A Different Drum is certainly one of my favorite tracks from that album.

Bongwater – The Drum
Bongwater was a strange little duo (which is not surprising as they opted for the moniker Bongwater). Singer Ann Magnuson has popped up as an actress on a handful of mainstream movies and television shows, quite against type as Bongwater was as much avant garde performance art as music.

I Don’t Know If Brett Favre Is Smart Enough To Teach College Physics Or So Dumb He’d Be Pressed To Spell “Cat”

December 17, 2008

Scrolling through some of my recent ramblings, I realized that the subject matter has included the shooting of ’70s singer Paul Davis, the murder of John Lennon, and famine in Africa. Thinking about real stuff is a bit grim.

Now, it seems as though there has been an uptick of attempts on the internet to goad me into taking an IQ test. The mental gauntlet seems to be thrown down most commonly on sports and other news sites.

Tony Romo’s IQ = 127
Are you Smarter than Tony Romo? Take Our IQ Test Now!
http://www.NFL-IQ-Quizzes.com

I actually happen to know my IQ (the result from an apparent testing in grade school is on my high school transcript for college), so these links have hooked me into some involuntary competition.

Logging onto a page in the NFL section at ESPN’s site, I learn that Brett Favre’s IQ is 105 and that of the average player on the Cincinnati Bengals is 119. (I swear I saw Favre’s touted – on another site – considerably higher) Last week, some site challenged me to match wits with Sarah Palin (IQ, 118).

Perhaps John McCain should have randomly chosen a Bengal as his running mate. (imagine the hilarity as our nation struggled with spelling Houshmandzadeh).

Or, he could have chosen me. (he might have chosen you)

Of course, I’m suspicious that these numbers being bandied about might not be officially sanctioned. I feel no shame in having a lower IQ than Barack Obama. However, I refuse to accept the idea that both Barack and I have lower IQs than the average fan of the Philadelphia Eagles.

Grover – Yeah I’m Dumb

The Beautiful South – Dumb

Aimee Mann – You’re With Stupid Now

The Murmurs – Genius

Pirates! Militant Islamists! Let's Get Ready To Rumble!

November 24, 2008

A long time ago, Paloma and I would often declare ourselves to be pirates. I’m not sure why we would do so, but this nautical impulse would often kick in during a night on the town (though I don’t recall either of us drinking rum).

We never donned eye patches let alone left land, but Paloma could make a brilliantly entertaining ‘aargh” face. Actually, it more resembled an expression which Calvin (of Calvin & Hobbes) might make – highly amusing; not exactly threatening.

(if the ability to unleash amazingly comical expressions was considered to be threatening, Paloma would be deemed to be a supervillianess)

Anyhow, piracy on the high seas is a growth industry these days. Somali pirates have literally created boom towns in their homeland which is, from what I’ve read, a postcard for poverty and lawlessness.

Now, I’ve read that militant Islamists – being a prickly bunch in the best of times – are ticked. The pirates are totally stealing their thunder. And, seriously, if you were recruiting discontented, angry, poor youths, isn’t the promise of a life of wine, bawdy women, and song here, now a better hook than virgins in the afterlife once you’ve blown yourself to bits?

So, the Islamists are offering to take the pirates down. Does this match up cause a light bulb to flicker for anyone else?

Secure the rights, make it a reality show, put it on pay-per-view cable, do merchandising tie-ins with Burger King – mmmm, Burger King – have Vegas set a line…. Do something. Do anything.

There’s a treasure chest of loot to be made here and no need to risk life, limb, or ingest Dramamine.

Thomas Dolby – Europa And The Pirate Twins

Bow Wow Wow – Sun, Sea And Piracy

The Beautiful South- The Lure Of The Sea

Echo & The Bunnymen – Seven Seas